THE TROUBLE WITH REALITY

By Bill Cottringer Translated by William Wang

Reality—The quality or state of being actual or true ; that which exists objectively; the totality of all things possessing actuality, existence, or essence.

The trouble with reality is that….

∙ The above definition doesn’t really define it.

∙ It is in perpetual motion.

∙ It keeps changing.

∙ Everyone’s perception of it is different.

∙ It’s way beyond our grasp.

∙ Communication about it is impossible.

∙ It’s either this or that, or both or neither or something else or not.

Never-the-less, we have a problem to solve: Successful living requires us to deal with reality the best way we can. So, what do we do? Consider following these reasonable suggestions:

1. I have a secret suspicion that might be worth considering. All the most important and useful reality that ever was or ever will be is stored densely in your unconscious mind. Figure a way to start transferring that knowledge and wisdom to your conscious mind. You can start by remembering what you have forgotten, as nothing is really new, just old and retold. For starters, every world religion has an original reality book that is worth reading.

2. Realize that things are not always as they appear. One example is that all you think you know may not always be so. Why is this? Because your brain is designed for convenience and efficiently, not correctness and completeness. Your brain is reducing all the complex, infinite realities you can’t grasp into the artificial simplicities you can understand. Plus what you see isn’t nearly as important as where you are looking from; but unfortunately your eyes can only see 180 degrees at any given time so you can’t even see that part of reality.

3. Understand that there are several different reality zones—the physical (senses), psychological (mind), artificial (words, drugs) and spiritual (ultimate truth) worlds—and it is smart to know where you are speaking from and where the person you are speaking to is standing. You can’t interact very successfully from different reality zones; it only frustrates you and the other person.

4. We use two processes of trying to communicate our perception of reality to others: (a) words that can’t possibly represent even small realities correctly or completely, and (b) non-verbal stuff which can create bizarre new realities altogether, just making things worse. You have to be on a constant vigil and committed to continuous improvement in order to be able to choose the right words and say them in such a way you can’t be misunderstood. You have a much better chance if you consider your own reality to be uncertain and tentative and communicate that uncertainty and tentativeness with honesty and sensitivity and without judgment, superiority or control. Of course none of this works without the other person actually listening to understand.

5. It is important to find a reliable way to continually affirm and validate your current reality; otherwise you may just be perpetuating unnecessary failure with wrong information and wasting valuable time. Find a reasonable and trustworthy standard against which you can compare your present version of reality, such as getting education, reading books, aligning with a higher authority, picking a mentor, dialoguing with close friends or other available ways that suit your fancy. Be picky though—make sure the standard is the best it can be.

6. A good sign is the degree to which your realities consistently get positive results and you the acknowledgement you get for those results; a bad sign is no results and no acknowledgment.

7. Another test of a reality is in its inclusiveness; there seems to be something inherently wrong with the whole process of excluding. Part of the problem-solving process is taking things apart; it is putting them back together again, though, that gets the results and feels right.

8. The more reality you have, the more you are convinced you have the right reality. Be very careful of pride as it can deceive you into being convinced you have the only correct, complete picture when you may have the most incorrect, incomplete one. Humility is so much more likable and a 5% insecurity doubt is healthily human.

9. While you are growing your own reality, hang around other people who have similar realities, as that seems to make things a little easier. When you are up to the challenge, seek out people who have way different realities from you, get past your defensiveness and then listen and learn. The growing will be painful, but worth it.

10. The closer you get to knowing and understanding your own reality, the better the chance you have in trying to change it for the better in case you don’t like it. But don’t expect to be able to do that overnight; it took considerable time to get to where you are and may take an equal time to get somewhere else, especially if it is in the opposite direction.

“现实”的困扰

作者：比尔 克特林格 翻译：王威廉

现实 – 真实的状态或本质；实际之存在；所有事物共同具有的现实、存在或本质的特性。

“现实”带给我们怎么样的困扰呢……

文章开头有关“现实”的解释模棱两可；

“现实”是永恒的；

“现实”是千变万化的；

人们对“现实”的各执己见；

“现实”让人可望却不可及；

人与“现实”无法交流；

“现实”的似是而非。

然而，我们还有一个亟待解决的问题：成功的人生需要我们在面对“现实”问题时要竭尽全力。那么，我们到底因该怎么做？我们不妨斟酌一下这些建议：

我有个臆测，但值得考虑一下。所有曾经或以后不可或缺的“现实”被塞进了你的潜意识之中。可以寻求某种可以向你的潜意里注入知识和智慧的方法，以此来唤回那些被遗忘的“现实”，那些并非耳目一新的，只不过是老生常谈的“现实”。对于初学者来说，世界上任何一种宗教都有那么一本有关于“现实”的原作可以读一下。

要认识到世间万物并非如我们所见，我们只不过是管中窥豹。为什么会这样？因为大脑的任务是让人的行事变得高效和便捷，而不是无误和完整。你的大脑将一切化繁为简，把晦涩难懂的无限“现实”变的清晰明了。再者，你的立场比你亲眼目睹更为重要。但可惜的是，在任何一定的时间里，你的视野也被局限在180°这个范围之内。因此这就导致了你不可能洞察“现实”的全貌。

要理解“现实”的不同构成部分 – 身体（感官）世界，心理（思想）世界，人为（语言，毒品）世界以及精神（真理）世界 – 聪明人在说话时知道如何做到收放自如。你很难顺利地在不同的“现实”构成部分中进行角色互换，那样只会使你和对方感到手足无措。

让我们用两种不同的方式来与他人交流我们对于“现实”的感受：（1）言语，但可能无法正确地或完整地去描述一些细枝末节的“现实”。（2）非语言方式，则彻头彻尾产生新的且诡异的“现实”从而让得事情变得更糟。你不得不保持警惕并不断地去调整以这些方式。确保这些感受能够被正确的表达，且不被误解。如果你认为自己的“现实”是不确定的或不定的，那沟通时就要保持诚信和谨慎，而非独断，自命不凡或者颐指气使，那么你会更寻到好的机会。当然这些工作都依赖于他人切实地去聆听并去体会。

找到可靠的方法去不断地确认和调整你当下的“现实”是关键。否则你很可能因为错误的信息而不停地犯错，从而浪费了宝贵的时间。制定合理且可靠的标准来评判你当前的“现实”状态，如潜心学习、博览群书、见贤思齐、访名师，拜高友以及其他一些可行的且适合你的方法。但要精挑细选 – 确保所选的标准要物尽其用。

你的“现实”能不断为你带来一定程度上的积极结果，并且你能从这些结果中获得的认可就是一个好的信号；无用功和不置可否则是不好的信号。

对“现实”的另一个考察则是包容性，可能由于某种内部的错误导致整个过程出现了排他的情况。解决问题的方法就是把问题进行拆分，然后再重组以便得到满意的结果和感觉。

拥有越多的“现实”，意味着你更确信自己拥有正确的“现实”。但要小心自满的情绪，因为当你可能遇到错误的、不完整的“现实”时，它依旧会欺骗你并说服你那是正确的、完整的。谦逊一点更讨人喜欢，一个健康的人需要保持5%的质疑。

在你拥有自己的“现实”的同时，去和拥有相同“现实”的人们交往，这样你周遭的事情就会变得轻松、容易。当你面对挑战时，去求助于那些和你拥有不同“现实”的人，以此来克服自己的抵触心理，再去倾听和学习。成长—痛并快乐着。

你越深入体悟自己的“现实”，你越是有机会在你厌恶它时让它变得不那么讨厌。但这并非朝夕之功。人生需要时间来积淀，无论当下与将来，更何况有时还会南辕北辙。